The 12 Day Of Christmas Reasons Students Won't Be In Class Next Week

I guess I'm not in the Christmas spirit yet.  With sincere apologies to the composers and lyricists who gave us "The 12 Days of Christmas," here's a really bad and cynical adaptation.

12 Early Family Christmases

11 Colds and counting

10 Parents who live out of state

9 Chances to earn overtime

8 Ski trips with the church youth group

7 Last minute shopping trips because it's Mom's day off

6 I'm too tired from last night's band concert

5 I couldn't find my bling

4 I'm not ready for the test

3 My car wouldn't start

2 My brother needs me to get him from the airport

And My car hit the partridge flying out of the pear tree.