Monday, June 2, 2014

A Preview Of Mike Rounds's Fall Campaign: Jumping The Gun Part Deux

Unless tons of fecal matter hit thousands of large spinning blades in a manner unique to human history, June 4 will dawn with Mike Rounds as the Republican nominee for the South Dakota Senate seat currently held by Tim Johnson. He will then begin his campaign against Democrat Rick Weiland and Independents Larry Pressler and Gordon Howie.

On Wednesday, Rounds will begin using the following talking points.
1. Rick Weiland is a liberal.
2. I agree with Mr. Howie that Obamacare is the worst legislation to see the light of day in my lifetime; some of Gordon's positions, however, are so far out of the mainstream that they do not reflect the values of hard working South Dakotans.
3. Larry Pressler has forgotten his South Dakota roots.
4. Rick Weiland's take it back slogan is clear evidence that Weiland is waging class warfare against South Dakota's job creators.
5. Larry Pressler will lead us to a return of failed policies of the past at a time when it imperative that this country move forward to face the 21st Century's new challenges.
6. Rick Weiland is waging war on the Second Amendment, traditional South Dakota values, and Christmas.
7, While I was working hard to create jobs in South Dakota, Rick Weiland headed an organization that killed jobs by creating onerous regulations.
8. By leaving the Republican party, both Larry Pressler and Gordon Howie have shown that they will put their ambition above principle.
9, John Thune likes me better than he likes the other candidates. He needs me there to help him put South Dakota first. My opponents will work on an agenda that Senator Thune and I know will hurt South Dakota.
10. A vote for Rick Weiland is a vote for Obamacare, activist judges, and a big government that will break the backs of our children with unsustainable debt.
Bonus Talking Point: Whenever one of his opponents uses a word that begins with the letter "E," Rounds will say something like, "My opponent is attempting to score political points by bringing up the EB-5 program which has been used in nearly every state and which, in South Dakota, has been carefully investigated. I call on my opponents to stop their negative campaigning and focus on the issues. I have been trying to run a positive campaign but my opponents insist on turning this into one of the most negative election cycles in South Dakota history.
I hope no one was expecting the fall campaign to be about policy proposals and concrete issues. Buzzwords are so much easier.

3 comments:

COLTAR.THE.BARBARIAN said...

BUT WE LIKE MIKE MR KALLIS!!!

WE LIKE HIM!!! OUR SIGNS AND COMMERCIALS EVEN SAY IT!

REPEAL THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION!!!

REPEAL OBAMACARE!!!

Kal Lis said...

Mr. Barbarian,

Thanks for stopping by. Please stop calling me Mr. I'm old, but I don't want to feel that old. You graduated long enough ago where the Mr., although a sign that you were reared by parents who taught you good manners, ages me considerably.

Like you I keep looking for the Nike swoosh in Rounds's ads.

I wonder if he may be trying to compensate for a bad childhood caused by a Life cereal commercial from way. way, way back in the day that had the line, "Let's get Mikey" followed by "He likes it."

COLTAR.THE.BARBARIAN said...

Couldn't resist... School is for fools

http://imgur.com/FcXgSTR