Thursday, January 31, 2013

A Modest Proposal: Let's Treat Guns And Porn In The Same Manner

Many folks who want to put guns in the hands of everyone also want to limit or ban violent video games and films. In short, they believe they can protect the second amendment by stomping on the first.

So allow me to make this modest proposal. Let's treat guns and porn-sexual or violent-the same way. I don't care about people's sexual fetishes. I certainly don't want to see them displayed in public. I also don't care about people's gun fetishes and would prefer never to see a civilian packing a gun in public.

First, everyone over twenty-one who has not been convicted of sex crime can buy or download all of the adult-performed porn-sexual or violent-that he or she desires. (I will stipulate that the performances must be consensual.) Civilians over twenty-one can buy all of the guns they want.

Second, people can watch all of the sexual or violent porn they want in their homes or legally parked vehicles but no one outside the residence or vehicle should be able to hear or see the material. People with guns can have them in their homes, in their vehicles, at the gun range, and in the field while legally hunting. Heck, if they want to they can buy up every old television in the state, go out to the back forty, make sure no one is around, and shoot the old televisions into smithereens if they want. When not in use, the guns must be locked up.

Third, no porn in schools, churches, courthouses or supermarkets. No guns in schools, churches, courthouses or supermarkets. (I will, of course, make allowances for police officers and evidence in courthouses.)

1 comment:

caheidelberger said...

Bingo! No porn or guns in schools. We limit the First Amendment and Second Amendment in the interest of safety and education.