Sunday, October 21, 2012

Presidential Candidates Aren't That Different From Supervillains

IO9.com notes that the choices for President seem rather grim this year:
When many American citizens cast their vote this November, they'll be choosing between the lesser of two evils. But why choose the lesser evil when you can choose a supervillain as your president? After all, supervillains can be effective leaders, provided you can get past the lying, unilateral decision-making, rampant murder, and dismantling of your Constitutional rights.
Given that both candidates have no problem with using drones to kill innocents abroad and have no problem destroying civil liberties, it seems advisable to look at the site's other criteria for advocating a supervillain in the Oval Office:
They have a strong vision for the future.

They'll go to great lengths to rebuild the country.

They won't stand for idiotic interview questions.

They make our monuments far more interesting.

They'll keep up morale (in order to further their evil schemes).

They'll eliminate unemployment—albeit through slavery.

They're already part of the shadowy conspiracy that runs the planet.

They're surprisingly easy to depose.

It also appears that our government has provisions for dealing with certain types of evil elected official.

Chances are you won't notice a difference between them and your non-supervillain presidents.
Let's see how Romney and Obama stack up on these other measurements.

Both Obama and Romney claim to have a strong vision and concrete plans to better the country. On the other hand, both answered Barry's stupid question during the town hall debate, and neither will ever get on Mt. Rushmore.

The election of either candidate will enrage opposing partisans, so the national mood will remain somewhat depressed no matter who wins in a couple of weeks. Romney's Bain tenure and his belief that corporations are people makes him more likely to embrace enslaving the populace, Republican hyperbole about health care notwithstanding.

Moving on to the "shadowy conspiracy," Both candidates seem to have shadowy people supporting them, but no one seems to care. If a supervillain wins, this criterion will allow South Dakota's own Steve Sibson and every other conspiracy theorist will get to say, "I told you so." Further, black helicopters look cool.

Given that Obama has been terrible on civil liberties and I'm certain Romney or any supervillain would be worse, having an easy to depose or a rather controllable supervillain might be an improvement.

Looking at the list, the last point seems rather accurate; Americans probably wouldn't see any difference if we elected a supervillain like Lex Luthor or Doctor Doom instead of Obama or Romney. In fact, the country might be better off

Doom is not an American citizen, however. I am sick of the Birther folk who would no doubt become apoplectic if Doom took office. That fact leaves me little choice; I'm going to support Lex Luthor in 2012.


2 comments:

Ken Santema said...

I am convinced. Lex Luthor for president it is! Wonder it there is time to get a sign made for my lawn?

LK said...

I don't know how fast Kinkos works, but I would guess it's possible.

On a serious note, I'm going for Johnson this year like I said on your blog.

If we're going to replace real candidates with comic book characters, I wish we could find a way to turn Noem into an invisible woman.