Saturday, June 7, 2014

Developing South Dakota's Democratic And Independent Candidates' Personas: Marvel Universe Edition

It's Saturday morning. The primary season made some folks testy and gave others a headache. There's going to be a long, hot, humid summer before Labor Day and then we will be bombarded by too many bad commercials and too much noisy campaigning between Labor Day and election day. It's time for a little levity.

The South .Dakota Republican candidates are prohibitive favorites in each of the statewide races that have been determined by primary: governor, United States Senate, and United States House of Representatives. It, therefore, behooves fans of both politics and comics to look at what Marvel Comics personas the Loyal Opposition, a motley but plucky collective who will be opposing the Republican nominees, should adopt.

In the United States Senate race, the Republicans have nominated Mike Rounds who seems protected by Teflon and Kevlar. He will be opposed by Democrat Rick Weiland and Independents Larry Pressler and Gordon Howie.

Having visited every town in South Dakota, loyal opponent Rick Weiland has showed he has plenty of endurance, one of 'Wolverine's powers. All Weiland needs to do is add adamantium claws and mean streak to cut through both Teflon and Kevlar.

Gordon Howie wants to bring true conservative thunder to the race. Quite frankly, the best fit for anyone trying to bring that thunder is Thor, the Norse god of thunder. Taking on the persona of a pagan god might also allow Howie to show that he's willing to be inclusive of those beyond his conservative Christian base.

Former Senator Larry Pressler has been out of the public view since he left office in January of 1997. Captain America was on ice from the end of World War II until the Avengers revived him in the early 1960s. Captain America uses his age to bring to the fore good old-fashioned American virtues; Pressler has video of his ability to avoid the vice of greed. Rounds association with EB 5 program and its assorted irregularities may make him vulnerable on that front. More importantly Pressler has political history that is being mined for for weak spots. Cap's shield may come in handy if Rounds decides to run a a few attack ads.

In the gubernatorial race, incumbent Dennis Daugaard will face loyal opponents Democrat Susan Wismer and Independent Mike Myers.

Conventional wisdom has it that Wismer needs to bring a little lightning to her campaign. No female superhero can do that job better than Storm.

Myers is the longest of long shots who needs to dramatically alter all known laws of probability. Fortunately, the Marvel Universe has a relatively unknown character with the proper name and probability altering powers, Longshot.

Finally Corinna Robinson needs to demonstrate strength and intellect to defeat incumbent Republican Congresswoman Kristi Noem. Although the individual titles have been played for laughs, She-Hulk's appearance is assorted team books demonstrate the character has the necessary power, intellect, and wit that Robinson will need to dispatch Noem.

There you have, The Loyal Opposition. The name doesn't have the ring of The Avengers, but should Democrats and Independents adopt these personas, the races might be a little closer and a little more interesting.


M Larson said...

I see Mike Rounds as Plastic Man. A person with a shaky past of criminal wrong doing that will shape into any form that is needed for the moment.

Kal Lis said...

Good fit. I wasn't going to deal with the Republicans at all.

I do wish the Dems had at least one person who could deliver on Ben Grimm's phrase "It's Clobberin' Time!"

Sadly, that candidate seems to be missing.