Monday, April 8, 2013

Guard Your Frozen Waffles

That's the only conclusion I can draw after reading this blurb on the Daily Beast's "Cheat Sheet."

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that thieves had stolen 21 tons of cheese and were arrested selling it a rest stop. Today, there's a story that German thieves have stolen five tons of Nutella:
Police said Monday that an unknown number of culprits made off with five tonnes of Nutella chocolate-hazelnut spread from a parked trailer in the central German town of Bad Hersfeld over the weekend.
The gooey loot is worth an estimated $20,710 US.
In December, the New York Times reported that thieves had stolen millions 46 million pounds of maple syrup:
It was an inside job of sorts. Thieves with access to a warehouse and a careful plan loaded up trucks and, over time, made off with $18 million of a valuable commodity.
The question is what was more unusual: that the commodity in question was maple syrup, or that it came from something called the global strategic maple syrup reserve, run by what amounts to a Canadian cartel.
On Tuesday, the police in Quebec arrested three men in connection with the theft from the warehouse, which is southwest of Quebec City. The authorities are searching for five others suspected of being involved, and law enforcement agencies in other parts of Canada and the United States are trying to recover some of the stolen syrup.
If the thieves steal a few tons of toaster waffles, they can eat will for years. All they need to do is put those frozen waffles in the oven until golden brown. When the waffles are toasted, cover half of them with the cheese. Then spread Nutella on the other half, mash together and cover with maple syrup.

If they get some partners in crime to steal a few tons of bacon, they'll feast like kings forever,

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