Thursday, September 29, 2011

I Create My Own Conspiracy Theory Just Like Wayne LaPierre

I watch House, so I know everyone lies.

I read Andrew Sullivan and follow his links so I know that people should vote for the most utilitarian candidate.

When the Washington Monthly's Steve Benen highlighted this Wayne LaPierre speech, I knew I had missed an important Internet meme.

Benen reports that LaPierre says,
“[The Obama campaign] will say gun owners — they’ll say they left them alone,” LaPierre told an audience at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) Friday. “In public, he’ll remind us that he’s put off calls from his party to renew the Clinton [assault weapons] ban, he hasn’t pushed for new gun control laws… The president will offer the 2nd Amendment lip service and hit the campaign trail saying he’s actually been good for the 2nd Amendment.”
“But it’s a big fat stinking lie!” the NRA leader exclaimed. “It’s all part of a massive Obama conspiracy to deceive voters and destroy the 2nd Amendment in our country.”
"Obama himself is no fool. So when he got elected, they concocted a scheme to stay away from the gun issue, lull gun owners to sleep and play us for fools in 2012. Well, gun owners are not fools and we are not fooled,” La Pierre declared.
“… President Obama and his cohorts, yeah, they’re going to deny their conspiracy to fool gun owners. Some in the liberal media, they are already probably blogging about it. But we don’t care because the lying, conniving Obama crowd can kiss our Constitution!”
One would have to be smoking Machiavelli's steroid laced ashes to believe that such a theory would be believed,so LaPierre must be taking part in an internet meme that involves creating the most outlandish conspiracy theory possible.

Here's my contribution:  Chris Christie, New Jersey's governor, keeps denying that he's running for president.  I'll let Jon Stewart show the media frenzy.
                       
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My theory is that Obama is threatening Christie with Muslim ninja snipers trained by the New Jersey mafia to keep Christie out of the race because he knows Christie is the only one who can defeat him in 2012. Update: The sniper rifles were all confiscated from LaPierre's secret NRA headquarter stash.

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