Thursday, August 25, 2011

How They See Us: Gawker Ranks South Dakota

Gawker writers, who in the main live in New York, are ranking the 50 worst US states.  South Dakota comes in as the 16th worst.  Congressperson Noem does little to help our reputation.

16. South Dakota

The Mount Rushmore State is beautiful and strange, a quiet and vaguely menacing place with more bison than people (or at least it seems that way).
The Good: The whole Badlands/Black Hills/Mt. Rushmore stretch of the state is very pretty. Wild and faraway-feeling, it's like standing in a history book about the pioneer days, but also like standing on the moon. On the way into the Badlands you may pass by, oh say a million or so signs for Mitchell, SD's fabulous Corn Palace, a kitschy tourist trap that's worth the drive just to say you've been. Wind Cave National Park is cool and creepy too, a mysterious place where the main attraction is underground and everything up top is strange prairie grass on low rolling hills, waving in the wind. Shivers!
The Bad: There's nothing there. Nothing! When your most cosmopolitan city is Sioux Falls, you've got a problem. Also, South Dakota boasts the United States congressperson with the worst hair in all of Washington. Look at that hair! Kristi, girl. Choose one look and go with that. You can't have the Rachel and the Monica at the same time. In general, South Dakota's politics tend to trend towards the batshit bonkers side, so beware. Also, the Corn Palace? It's nothing special. Or at least it doesn't justify the fifty million signs that advertise its proximity. I'd be more interested in seeing Kristi Noem's hair salon. And burning it down
Final Score: 4.45
Our neighbors fare a bit better.  North Dakota is 20Wyoming is 19Montana is 18Nebraska is 17Minnesota is 45 even with Michele Bachmann. Iowa is 27; the news about deep fried butter improved its rating.

If I am interpreting these ratings correctly, the rest of the world believes that Kristi Noem  is such a liability that even Mount Rushmore cannot overcome her deleterious effects.  Oh well, at least the rating wasn't scientific.

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